When loss and letting go hit hard

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Being with discomfort during south node eclipses

The recent Annular Solar Eclipse (New Moon) in Libra has kicked my ass. Okay so that’s not really fair. I don’t actually believe that the current astrology has caused my current situation. I do believe that astrology is acting as a mirror, reflecting back to me the possibilities and qualities of experiences I may come up against at any given time. 

Astrology and the cosmos is not out to get us, and I believe we have free will in our actions towards fate and destiny. Fate and destiny being a mystical and serendipitous place on the horizon of life that feels like everything happens for a reason, but without really knowing how or why (and not necessarily needing to know as long as we follow the tugs of our intuition and inner guidance). And also, that sometimes stuff happens for no reason. Sometimes stuff just happens. 

I wish I could tell you that navigating loss and letting go gets easier with time, like a skill you can build, and lean upon when times are heavy, full of uncertainty, confusion, and sadness. I don’t think that part is the skill though. The skill isn’t in the letting go, it’s in the next steps. It’s in the keeping going.

I’m at a bit of a loss on how to describe the keeping going right now. I can’t describe it in broad strokes or generalizations. Right now I only understand how to keep going in specific ways, such as picking out bar stools for the counter in the kitchen. Or redecorating the bathroom with moon and botanical items and themes. Or decorating my windowsill with Halloween gnomes I picked out at our local, small town pharmacy.

For me, those tasks and focuses are me keeping going right now. And I can’t describe them in any other way than what they are. Because each time, the keeping going looks and feels different. I can’t summon up or imagine my next response to loss or sadness, but I always do my best to keep summoning up the things I need to do to keep going– whatever they may be.

With Libra in my fourth house of family, home, past, and ancestry, I’m fortunate that even though the south node eclipse in Libra is reflecting an unexpected emptying out and letting go, it is also supporting me in revitalizing and beautifying my home spaces.

Astrology helps keep me going. It reflects my experiences and challenges back to me. Holds me in its cosmic arms and asks nothing of me than to be. And it always gets it right. For better or for worse. For fear or excitement. Astrology gets me and never ceases to amaze me.

So that all being said– I have been knocked on my ass. By life, by circumstance, by whatever causes disruption and change when we least expect it. And even when I think I’m getting really good at the keeping going part of the letting go, at a moment’s notice I can sink into the sadness of uncertainty, confusion, and longing.

During this eclipse season, I’m looking at my grief by floating between the lenses of letting go, breaking patterns, and sacrifice. Using the lens of sacrifice causes the most discomfort and the most sadness, and yet – it also opens a grand amount of opportunity. And I think that’s why it can be so fitting during south node eclipses to explore what sacrifice means in the context of your life and how it makes you feel. The word sacrifice in general makes me uncomfortable, and is therefore all the more an invitation to explore it.

The feeling of sacrifice in our bodies: the deep feeling you get in your bones, at the bottom of your heart, in your throat when it tightens, or your neck and shoulders when it feels like your blood stops moving. Our bodies speak to us when we’re willing to listen, but it would seem at times though, that we need to be stopped in our tracks first. By something, an event, comment, illness, etc. We are forced to stop and then there’s nothing left to do but listen and be. 

Eclipses are this mystical time of disruption and transformation. The perfect time to get quiet, turn inward and listen deeply. Get pushed to our growth edges and retreat as we let the lessons wash over us.

So now, I’m listening, and sitting in my discomfort, and going nowhere fast. Whenever I’m able, I get back to the keeping going. Right now, that is daydreaming about getting chickens for our farm.

— Julie 🌟

Tell me in the comments below what house you have Libra in and how you’re seeing it reflected in your own life 🌟

➡️ Review your birth chart:

  • What house is being activated for you this eclipse season? 
  • ♎ Look to the house you have Libra in to explore what topics you may be letting go, releasing, cleansing, or making sacrifices around.